New Happy

Contentment vs Confusion

In reality I guess those should be put in the opposite order as it is confusion that prompted an email I sent out earlier.  I was, and truth be told, still am confused on some issues.  Those issues particularly relate to a yearly theme, namely my yearly theme.  The last three years I have had a yearly theme,  2008 it was Articulate, 2009 it was Prepare, 2010 it was Anticipate.  The first two I was able to do a wrap up fairly easily at the end of the year.  And at the beginning of this year I was ecstatic to anticipate what God was going to do.  I had some very, very specific hopes and dreams as to what this would be.  But as I end the year in much the same place I was at the beginning of the year I look back in confusion.  I wonder "Did I anticipate the wrong thing?"  "Was anticipation even supposed to be my theme?"  What? Why?  How?  All these thoughts plagued me.  And I HATE (yes read the all caps with all the vim and vigor you can muster) not knowing the answer. I can more easily say "I was wrong" than I can say "I don't know"

But as He often does, God talked through my words and as I wrote.  He gently reminded me that I have been given a word for next year.   And that word is Contentment.  But, but, BUT  I whine,  "I don't want to be content,  I want to move forward,  I want those things that I was anticipating for this year"  Did you read that?
I, I, I. --- I wasn't concentrating on what God wanted to show me I was concentrating on what I wanted.

Be Still and KNOW was thrust into my spirit.

so I sat still. I listened and I heard some more things gently spoken into my spirit.

just a smattering included:

Be content and know that I am working on your behalf..............

Let ME be Me and you just be you................

Be content to know I have the answers and you will get them as you need them..................

Be content to let the past stay in the past, not regret it, not try to amend it, not try to correct for it, let it be what it was, own up to it and your choices and let it be............(ouch tough one there)

Be content to know that the past three themes, Articulate, Prepare and Anticipate are all leading up to this year, but this year will not be the culmination of them or this year's theme either......................  

...........towards the end I began to get a picture of changes to be made by me this year........which will include.......

I will be writing more, I need to be a better steward of the gifts I am given (time, finances, etc), I can be a voice this year, if I listen and obey.  I will be studying and listening more, and in turn writing and speaking more..........

God's not through with me yet, but it is almost 2 am and I must get to sleep.

Perfectionism

is not all it is cracked up to be.

Advent

Daily Scripture Readings
Sunday November 28 - Isaiah 42:1-9
Monday November 29 - Psalm 89:1-29
Tuesday November 30- Isaiah 55
Wednesday December 1 - Isaiah 35
Thursday December 2 - Luke 1:26-38
Friday December 3 - John 1:1-10
Saturday December 4- John 1:11-18

Sunday December 5 - Micah 5:2
Monday December 6 - Malachi 3:1-4
Tuesday December 7 - Matthew 1:18-25
Wednesday December 8 - Mark 1:1-13
Thursday December 9 - Isaiah 40:1-11
Friday December 10 - Isaiah 52:1-6
Saturday December 11 - Isaiah 9:2-7

Sunday December 12 - Luke 2:8-20
Monday December 13 - Luke 1:5-25
Tuesday December 14 - Luke 1:39-56
Wednesday December 15 - Jeremiah 33:7-16
Thursday December 16 - Luke 1:57-80
Friday December 17 - Isaiah 61
Saturday December 18 - Revelation 21:1-7

Sunday December 19 - Matthew 1:18-25 & Luke 1:28-38
Monday December 20 - Revelation 1:10-18
Tuesday December 21 - Matthew 2:1-12
Wednesday December 22 - still looking for passage for this day...
Thursday December 23 - Luke 2:1-20
Friday December 24 -Saturday December 25 - Christmas Day: Read the Christmas story together from Luke 2:1-38

The Sunday scriptures are the Advent Candle reading scriptures. Here is what we do when we light our candle each week...


November 28 - Prophecy Candle
Scripture: Malachi 3:1-4
Song: O Come, O Come, Emmanuel
Reading:


December 5 Bethlehem Candle
Scripture: Micah 5:2
Song: O Little Town of Bethlehem
Reading:


December 12 Shepherd Candle
Scripture: Luke 2:8-20
Song: While Shepherd's Watched Their Flocks By Night
Reading:


December 19 Angel Candle
Scripture: Matthew 1:18-25 & Luke 1:28-38
Song: Angels, We Have Heard on High
Reading:


December 24 (Christmas Eve) Christ Candle
Scripture: Luke 2:1-38
Song: Silent Night ; O Come All Ye Faithful
Reading:

The Best Laid Plans........

Lately, I have been looking for "bloggable" events and lessons throughout my day.  This blog has sat dormant for far too long.  I started this blog as an outlet and a voice.  I wanted to provide something for others ~ to encourage, to teach, to minister, or even to commiserate.  I wanted to be out there.  But I find myself not coming to the blog, or when I do, not blogging.  However, I am challenging myself to change that. To do more, to put it out there, because I know that through practice I can and will improve my writing and hopefully maybe my audience.  

So I started looking for events and lessons which might be interesting to blog. And early in the day one was presented itself.

Pumpkin's birthday was last week.  Today we were taking her and another homeschooling friend bowling and out to lunch.  However, the day also included a couple of other errands that all had to be done in town.  Dad and I decided that we would split up, since we now own two vehicles, each going our own way accomplishing tasks and then we would converge upon the bowling alley and enjoy the time together. 

 My errands included taking Little Man for his check up appointment and talking to the Doctor about a concern we have with Buddy.  I had to leave first. Which I did, much to Pumpkin and Bug's dismay.  You see they weren't paying attention to the details we had worked out.  Bug was struggling with finding his shoes and his sister was fussing at him to hurry up and getting more impatient with him by the second.  Apparently they were deeply involved with finding said shoes when I loaded up Buddy and Little Man and backed out of the driveway, the first time.  However, I realized that a piece of much needed information for Dad was in his Bible in my van.  So I circled the block and had Buddy take the information to his dad.  

It was at this point that both  Bug and Pumpkin realized I was leaving and they were, in fact, not.  Pumpkin was greatly distressed at this fact and not trusting that her parents had worked something out, thought that she had missed the planned trip and wasn't going to get to celebrate with her friend.  She had one plan in mind and what was happening didn't match that plan, so she decided the only other option was that her plan was ruined and she wasn't going to get what she wanted.

She took that out on her brother, berating him and in general being hateful towards him because she believed him to be the reason her plan wasn't being carried out.  

How often do we do this to God?  How often to we have a plan to accomplish what we want to accomplish and not trust that God has His own plan, which is often different than ours?  How often do we blame others and are hateful to them instead of turning to our Heavenly Father and asking Him if there is another plan or another way?  How often do we, as Pumpkin did later, have to go back and apologize to others once we learn the error of our ways?

Multitude Monday

A new thing ~ A challenge ~ A spark
I have seen this off and on around blog world for the past several years.  It has been something that has intrigued me, something that I *thought* I *should* do.  But never flipped over and opened the blog to do so.  So it got left undone, and in not doing so I realize now I was missing out.  Missing out on something.  Something Big.
Because with God everything is Big,no matter how *little* the world says it might bea touch, a word, a sunrise, a momentcan be, nonot can beIS A BIG THING when God is involved.
So I start my listlooking at my everyday for those things God has given to me

1. My Grandmother's rocker that  now sits in my living room
2. The hand work ~ crochet and sewing ~ she taught me to do.
3. My Sweet little teething baby.
4. My oh, so helpful, oldest
5. My wonderful, playful, full of energy boys
6. My loyal dedicated serving husband
7. Friends through thick and thin

Changes

I have been amazed in recent weeks at changes in attitude.  Changes in me and my attitudes.  Changes I can only account to God's work in my life and more importantly in my heart.  Some have been direct conscious choices that I have focused on in prayer and conversations with God.  Others have been results of the first changes.  

What I have learned most about these changes is the the truth of the verse about guarding your heart, Above all else guard your heart, for out of it comes the wellspring of life.  (Proverbs 4:23) I have always understood that verse one way.  Guarding what you put in your heart, being careful not to let the 'bad' stuff in.  Much like the childhood song "Oh Be Careful" sung to the tune of "If You're Happy And You Know It"    "Oh be careful little eyes what you see.  Oh be careful little ears what you hear. etc" However,  I have experienced the truth of the other half of that verse.  The changes God has  made in my heart have shown in very visible ways in my life.  These changes have benefited me, and my family.  I sit and marvel at these changes almost daily.  And I thank God for them.

School

Tomorrow starts our school routine again.  Last year it was the second day of "school" we spent at the doctor's office.  This year it is the first one.  Little Man has his 6 month check up tomorrow.  But we will adjust our routine and go on.  We will have school tomorrow and get some routines started.  Others will be getting in gear over the next days and weeks.  I can't believe that I will have a first grader, a third grader and a sixth grader.  time is just flying by.

My first grader will be in for somewhat of a shock with his schooling this year.  It will be a bit more formal than last year and I am not sure he is expecting it.  But it will be okay and he will get over it.


I am also going to start a new Bible Study.  I just have to find the right one for me.

Do You Have a Dream?

That is the question that was asked in the Crosswalk Devotional I read this morning.  In it Lysa TerKeurst talks of the beginning of her Proverbs 31 Ministry. Her main point is being obedient to God and letting him do the work in unfolding the dream He gave you.

I have a dream, a dream that was birthed more than 15 years ago.  In the intervening years I have done just about anything I could to get away from that dream.  However, God has been faithful and not let that dream suffer or die because of my lack of nurturing.  It is still there and now stronger than ever.  However, now that I am ready it seems that other things keep blocking our path.  And I might be tempted to say no, this wasn't from God.  But I know differently, and He has confirmed my dream to me through many sources, so I know that He will be faithful again.  The waiting is hard.  I have been trying to be obedient in my waiting, not always successful in that obedience either but I am trying.

One question that keeps coming up in my mind and I know from others is "What makes me qualified to be an Officer?"  "What gifts do I have that will make me successful?"  I have thought and thought on those questions.  And quite frankly I don't have a definitive answer, when I look at myself.  I mean on the office side of things I can be a good organizer and with motivation have good time management skills,  I can multi-task very well, usually.  I can keep good records, I learned that as a teacher.  On the ministry side of things, I have a heart for working with children and ladies, teaching and ministering.  I love reaching out to people where they are and helping them to go further.  I have a good knowledge base to start and I LOVE to learn more.  However, while that list is long and fairly detailed I have come to realize that both that list and the questions themselves are focusing on the wrong person in the equation.  I don't know what "I" have what will be necessary or what I can learn to do. The best I can say is that God called me.  And where He called, He will equip, train and lead.  I have a passion to do what He called me to do. And so I see that as my best qualification.  I simply want to be given the chance to do it

Sorting and Purging Revisited

Not only am I sorting and purging the physical things in my life, not that I have been that diligent in this process in the last couple of weeks. But I also seem to be sorting and purging internally as well, emotions, feelings, comfort zones, doubts, insecurities. The list goes on.

I have for far too long held on to the doubt, "Maybe God won't act." That doubt let me stay comfortable in my circumstances. So I didn't have to risk letting God have it all and believing that He CAN, He WILL, and what's more He WANTS to act. He believes that I am WORTH Him acting. He wants me to risk giving it all to Him and Him saying it is best for me to stay right here and He will act and give me the ability to function here for Him.

Sorting and Purging.

For the last two days the kiddos and I have been working hard.  We have gotten rid of two boxes of books and a bag of shoes etc.   That have been sitting around cluttering up space.  The toys in the boys' room have been sorted and purged.  Each child has a tote to hold "their special toys"  Then we have about four totes of various sizes to hold various collections, Little People, Legos, Trains and Tracks, and Blocks and Tools.  This is all that is going with us when we move.  The stuffed animals etc will have to go in their individual totes.  There are probably still to many toys, but at the moment that is what we have.

The next sorting and purging will be books.  That may be a bit more painful but it will happen next week.

However, I have noticed in the sorting and purging we have been doing that I have been doing a lot of purging emotionally and mentally as well.  Getting rid of the extraneous should'ves would'ves and could'ves.  It has been emotionally freeing.  I can only live the life I have been given.  And the only way to live it out is the way that works for  me and my family.  And that is between God, me and my family, no one else.

Blogging for Me

After a discussion last night that I know my husband expected me to take and let it send me into a depressive state, I have made some great strides today.  I needed reassurance that I was doing the right thing and basically got it through my husband giving me some ideas that mirrored my own that I had already been mulling over in my mind.  

These included more responsibilities for the children and more routine for me.  It also gave me insight into what he wanted and his vision of what I needed to be doing.  And again yes it mirrored what I already thought.  But because it was from his mind, not simply agreeing with what I said, it was comforting to know what I was already thinking was what he was thinking.  

This week I am working on delegating more chores and responsibilities to the kids and making  my own to do list and menu for the day the night before.  Next week I will delve into more routines for the kids and I particularly morning and nighttime routines.  

More Time for ME

1. Create a housework schedule/ notebook
2. Menu Plan
3. Create a chore list for the girls
4. Spend more time learning and enjoying than doing chores
5. Start making goal lists the night before
6. Create morning and night time routines
7. Declutter each room of the house 

I stole this list from a friend of mine.  But her list is actually very close to my own list.  We for different reasons and in different circumstances seem to be walking the same path lately.  So I shamelessly stole her list to make my own.  

I have said many times in my life that I am going to change things when it comes to my housework and life in general.  I have needed to make changes because I wasn't happy with the way things were.  I could even envision things the "way they were supposed to be".  But I never quite got there.  I never really made it past just a few days or weeks lots of times.  What makes  me think it will be different this time.  Because my motivations are different.  I am at the place where I am doing this for *ME* because *I* want to.  Not for the need to match up to some idealized state that I can never be.  Not for the need to be or do something I think someone else wants me to be or do in order to be accepted.  Not even for the need to do it because someone else wants me to, I *should* do it.  It is for me, and only me.  Sure my family and my home will reap the benefits of it, and in a way I am doing it for them. But primarily it is for me.  Ownership I have a part in it I am owing up to it. I am doing it for me.

If any of that made sense to you. I am glad, if it didn't that is okay, too. Perhaps I just needed to write it out for me anyway.  

Now for the *ME* version of my list

*Create a meal plan, and meal notebook

*Create a household notebook, including budget/financial pages

*Create morning and evening routines for me and kiddos

*Create chore charts for kiddos

*Create running grocery list and to do lists

*Create yarn project lists ( what I wanna do with what I have, what I wanna do that I don't have, make wish lists and watch for sales etc) 

The Words of My Life.

Purging, Cleaning, Simplifying, Changing, Ownership, Stewardship, Responsibility, Pouring Into, Emptying, Joy, Satisfaction, Seeking, LOVE.

Those are just some of the words on my heart right now.  Later they may come out on paper too.............

The Happiness Project

"Take a picture everyday of something that makes you happy. Look forward to the happy things in that day and look back at the memories you've made rather than cluttering your life with things that you hope will happen. Love what you've got, love where you are. It's not just something you wake up feeling, it's something you choose everyday to do."

I took this idea from my friend. I believe that she took it from someone else. But who ever thought of it I need it, and so I am going to try to do this. I will be posting it on my Facebook account daily, hopefully. But I hope to bring it here every few days.

I am starting with this one. It is of Dad and Bug reading together. As a homeschooling family we infuse learning experiences in all.the.time. and the love it. It doesn't seem like school, they don't turn off, as in sometimes the case. It is basically what I believe family life should be all the time. Because we school at home we get the chance to make learning fun and have it happen all the time, rather than compartmentalizing our lives into "school" and "home" or having to overcome the "That's not how or why or whatever...we do it at school!" Anyway, I'll step off the soapbox now.

Dad and Bug were reading "More M&M's Math" and discussing all the math concepts, including multiplication and division with my six year old. And HE WAS GETTING IT! All that makes me happy.!!!

Reading With Daddy.

And answer to prayer

Yesterday my sister-in-law asked how her brother walking into the building was an answer to prayer. Really it isn't' a dramatic story, I don't have those. But it was pretty interesting.

As I talked about yesterday there was a Corps Council/Planning meeting that I was invited to sit in on. The only other thing I remember about that meeting, besides my call, was the fact that we instituted a special prayer meeting prior to the regular mid-week prayer meeting that was always held. This one was specifically for Corps growth. It was voluntary and set for 15 minutes prior to the regular meeting. Those who chose to participate would go into the chapel area for silent prayer specifically for Corps Growth. Not being a big part of the Corps at that time I chose not to participate for a few weeks. However, one Tuesday the Corps Officer's wife said "Come on, Maria, Let's go pray Steven to the Corps" I couldn't refuse, so I went in, and unsure of exactly what to pray for, I prayed and asked God to bring Steven in along side me.

I don't remember exactly how much later it was (during prayer meeting or HL/MFC meetings), but later that same evening Steven walked in the building, supposedly looking for me, but whatever we were doing, he stuck around that night. He also kept coming back and later started the conversation that began our soldiership classes and enrolled us as soldiers.

My Call

I realize I have shared bits and pieces of this in the past. Bu don’t think that I have shared it at one place with any one person. I believe however that I have been prompted by the Holy Spirit to do so now.

I title my call to Officership with the words that I said for a long time growing up about ministry in general “I’m glad I don’t have to do that”. But, as He often does, God has other plans.

I grew up in the church. My family was very active in the church and the ministry of the church, working behind the scenes to make sure ministries and activities were carried out. This type of work interested me very much and was what I felt at home doing. I watched those in leadership, especially the pastors with whom my family often became friends, with great admiration and with the thought “I’m glad I don’t have to do that”.

In my college years I was asked to be a delegate at-large to the then North Arkansas Conference of the United Methodist Church. I served for two years, and had a blast. I loved every minute of both of those conferences. I loved learning the more about the inner workings of the church, I loved the speakers and the worship. It was all wonderful to me.

It was at one of those conferences that the theme was “Equipping the Saints” with the theme verse coming from one of Paul’s letters, (But I don’t remember which one). The idea, at least the one I got, was to prepare the both the leaders in the church and the members with the tools and resources needed to serve. It was with that idea that a new program was introduced, one which would provide the participants with a certificate in Youth Work, Religious Education, or Music once the course was completed. It was new, but I knew God was telling me that was where He wanted me. So I secured the funding and started the program in the fall. I saw it as a way to get a validation to working with youth or children in the church. I even began to open my eyes to do something other than teach, which I had wanted to do since I was six.

Through the program I was placed to work with a brand new fledgling Corps in Conway, Arkansas. I was working with Sunbeams before the Corps even had Corps status. From the little Sunbeam troop my involvement grew, mostly through the friendship with the Corps Officers, who befriended me. Through my work in the Corps, my then fiancé, Steven was brought into the Corps. {In fact his entrance into the building was one of the most visible and literal answers to prayer I have ever seen, but that is a story for another time.}

I loved the work and again I was in the background working to help the ministry happen, much as I had done growing up. And again, I watched the Officers with admiration and with the thought “I’m glad I don’t have to do that.”

I was asked to be a part of a special planning meeting and Corps Council led by a Divisional Staff Officer Captian (now at least Major) Sandra Definbaugh. She shared her story with us and began leading us in planning for the ministry of the Corps. It was during her prayer for the ministry of the Corps and those of us sitting in that meeting that God plainly spoke into my heart saying “You WILL be doing this, as an Officer.” I wasn’t too sure of myself, so I didn’t say much. I wasn’t even a soldier yet. Steven hadn’t even entered the building yet at that point. However, I just sat and watched as God worked, bringing Steven into not only the building, but also into the work of the ministry. He even led Steven to ask the questions about Soldiership that brought us to classes and enrolling as soldiers on the day after our wedding. We have literally been soldiers about 20 hours less than we have been married.

That call was 15 years ago. Many would say it has been wasted time. Through that time I have let my enthusiasm wane at times, questioned God and His reasoning, and even stubbornly said maybe I need to look elsewhere. But God has been faithful and kept that nudge that call alive through all that. He also has renewed that love and enthusiasm in both Steven and me. As I looked back through the years I have seen His faithfulness and His teaching that I can and will apply in my future ministry.

I am ready to continue the journey, ready to step through that door.

Friend Requests.

I was reminded this morning that God has our future in HIS hands. Mere men may think that they hold the key to our future but in reality they only hold what God allows. God is in ultimate control over everything and HE will act according to HIS will. I must simply watch, wait and trust HIM.

And what is more HE is my Friend. HE cares what happens to me, HE is involved in my life, HE is close to me, HE wants me to talk to HIM, HE wants to be a part of my life. I have been using Facebook as a comparison here. I have friends on my list that I don't really KNOW, I know their name and they mine, I have been acquainted with them in the past or even now, but I could probably clear them off of my friends list and no one would even know or care, we dont' make a difference in each other's lives. But I also have friends that I communicate with very often. Ones that I would miss if I didn't, that I do miss when I haven't talked with them much, ones whose friendship I count on and hold very special close to my heart. THAT is the kind of friendship God has and wants with me. HE misses me when I don't talk to Him. HE counts me a friend. I need to count HIM as one of my friends in this manner. I need to make time to talk WITH HIM and not AT HIM. He not only holds my future but He also wants to be my friend.

Do you have a friend request from God that you haven't accepted? What I have ins't special, He wants it with you too.

Readers

When I talked about organizing the books in our house, I speak of no small task.  There are six people in this household, five of which are capable of reading, of which each of those five are voracious readers.  It is what happens when two readers are raising a family, the kids all love books and reading.  But that means that there are also tons, literally TONS of books in this house.  There are two book cases in my room, FILLED with books, and when I say filled I mean one is double stacked.  The two kids rooms both have book shelves filled to overflowing.  And the at least six of the shelves on the entertainment center are filled with books.  That does not count the books on night stands, in the library box, stacked around my desk, or on the bar, or the TV cabinet under the bar.  Yes there are a lot of books in this house.

However, this isn't about the books, this is about the readers.  It is truly amazing to me to watch my children read.  Help them pick out books, and watch their interest soar.  Today while at the library, I helped both the older boys pick out books they wanted to read.  Bug (6) is really into space and jokes right now so finding the joke book devoted entirely to jokes on space was a huge delight to him.  Buddy (8) is really getting into rhyme and rhythm so the Dr. Suess books like Green Eggs and Ham, though quite a bit below his reading level are really fun for him right now.  Bug is even picking up on the cadence and liking to read them aloud too.  Pumpkin (11), whose current obsession is horses, choices all included horse related books, both informational and fiction.  They all also signed up for the Summer Reading Program and have already a good start on their reading lists since we have returned home.  It just makes my heart happy.

Blogging habits

Today I am reexamining why I write in my blog.  Early on in my blogging career it was simply a snapshot into my days.  I wrote and I processed the things going on around me and in my life.  At the time I had a 3 year old, and one less than a year old.  I also had a husband that worked during the second shift while I worked days.  I had a lot of evening time to myself and I wrote.  It was interesting.  I wrote out the story of meeting my husband, though when I went back and read it last year I realized some of the extraneous details of that story were somewhat shaded by my experiences at the time.  I wrote about challenges I faced in my classroom and with my children.  I blogged the pregnancy of my third child and was bursting with the news of my younger sister's pregnancy.  I wrote about the passing of my beloved grandmother and her impact on me. I wrote about many things, those are some of the things I member most about those early years.  I made quite a few friends blogging and blogging brought me into contact with an amazing group of women I would not have ever met if I had not started blogging.  (I challenge you to use the word blogging three times in one sentence)

Over the years however, my blogging has changed and I am not sure I like that change.  I started reading and following other blogs and thinking they were 'better' than mine I decided to imitate them and be more 'profound'.  Well what I found is that I don't blog nearly as much as I used to and my writing has suffered because of that fact. For one who aspires to write more, that is not a good thing. So I am resolving to go back to my roots so to speak and blog from my heart once again.  

Now

This is the month of NOW - at least according to NaBloPoMo.  And I don't mean the radical feminist organization.

Now can mean a lot of things.  It can mean not putting off hard or unwanted tasks until tomorrow or some other convenient time ~which never seems to come.   It can mean just concentrating on the here and now and the next job in front of you rather than being overwhelmed by the enormity of the tasks or the day.  I can also mean concentrating on now, and not worrying about what may or may not come tomorrow, or what has happened in the past. It can also mean that NOW is the time for what you have been Anticipating.

For me and my part of this theme I will be concentrating on the first three of those possibilities and letting God work on the fourth one, with a little hope.

Tuesday Thoughts

Today is our Monday, and I don't mean that because yesterday was a holiday.  You see when he works a 'normal' five day week, Dad has Sunday and Monday off, so often real Monday's get treated like Saturday's around here and thus Tuesday's become our Monday's, so this week we are just like the rest of the world.

But today also begins a change in me.  I am going to work this summer on several goals.  Those were actually written a few weeks ago and I have yet to start on them.  But today, the unofficial start to summer, I am going to be working on them, and reworking them.  It is a start, a jumping off point, but to tell you the truth, several of them weren't very well thought out at the time, and several of them have changed because of circumstances and situations, that have arisen between then and now.  So today I start.

Also how approraite that the theme of the month for NaBloPoMo is NOW, for it is NOW I am starting now. so among my goals will be finishing NaBloPoMo this month.  (and if I can't think of anything to say they now have writing prompts on the main site every weekday.)

I will start with a notebook, several lists and a lot of prayer.  I  also have quite a bit to do today so I will share more later.  So off of here and to my notebook.

Water in the desert

I have been very lax with my reading and Bible study.  However, after a particularly rough night last night, I heeded the call and was drawn to my Bible.  I lay there and read for nearly an hour.  To say that water was welcome in the desert would be understating the comparison.  My soul just drank up the words and the balm was so relieving for me.  I didn't even search out comforting scriptures, which I would have normally done.  I just  picked up where I left off in my Narrated Bible.  Just to show you how much that I needed the Word in my life.

13 for Summer

Taking a page from my dear friend Dana 

Thirteen Things to do this Summer

1.) Walk 3 mornings a week.
2.) Finish my Narrated Bible
3.) Create a new saving/spending plan for our family.
4.) Save $500 in our emergency fund
5.) Come up with a daily routine that involves walking, talking, and less but more engaged time online
6.) Finish 4 baby blankets, 1 wedding afghan, 5 pot holders (for a swap) and several other crocheted items to equal one large and at least 3 small finished objects a week.
7.) Organize our family's books (with as many books as this family has that is ONE LARGE PROJECT)
8.) Reorganize my pantry and kitchen to better suit our needs (an fit the appliances that will be coming into our kitchen)
9.) Plan and gather materials for school next  year. -- I'll have a 1st, 3rd and 6th grader
10.) Do more baking/cooking with the kiddos
11.) Blog consistently, on interesting topics
12.) Finish at least 5 books on my TBR stack.
13.) Have fun with kiddos this summer.

Sunday vs Monday.

This week has been a classic example in my life.  And today God has been bringing it up again and again.  I believe He wants me to learn a lesson from it.  Since, as an educator, I believe that more ways you experience a lesson the better you learn that lesson, I will also be processing and writing out my experiences.  Hopefully it will make sense and maybe you will get something out of it too.

Sunday wasn't a good day for me.  You see I was on that sinking sand.  I was believing the lies the enemy was speaking into my ears.  But as Cheri pointed out so eloquently, believing that perception was coloring my view of everything.  I was not a happy camper nor very pleasant to be around.

Yet after a good night's sleep, one in which the baby slept through the night, I had a whole new perception on Monday.  I made the choice to have a better outlook and day, and guess what I did.  I made a choice to lean on that Solid Rock and believe Him. It was a much better day.  Things that would have been over the top for me to handle on Sunday, didn't bother me on Monday.   And I didn't just survive the day, I enjoyed it.

This morning presented yet another choice and I am choosing a similar path to Monday's and it is working out well.  The principal at the last school I taught paraphrased this popular verse in this was "This is the day that the Lord has made and I will CHOOSE to rejoice in it"  It is all about choice people, all about choice.

Finished Blanket

I made this blanket for Little Man -- I started it around the time he was born and finished tacking all the ends in today.   It isn't the best in the world but it is done.



Here are close ups of the squares - the heart square



-- and the solid square

Solid Rock vs Sinking Sand

My husband is one of those people who only has to hear a song once or twice to be able to sing it again, from memory. Our daughter has picked up the same tendency.  I have a better memory for the tune than the words, but that is a different story.  

Regardless of the above fact, God has always spoken to me through song lyrics.  That isn't the only way He chooses to speak to me, but it is one way He uses quite regularly, for me.  This past weekend at church we sang two very old hymns of the church and each of them was a sermon in itself to me, which was good because I missed most of the actual sermon due to a fussy baby.  I will blog on those later.  Tonight I wanted to touch on one of the first hymns God used in my life.  

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

Refrain

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

Refrain

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

Refrain

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain

Read those words again carefully. Go over them slowly.  It is basic theology, He is our Rock.  If we lean on that, believe in that, trust in that, we will not be disappointed.  Our everything truly does lay with Him, not in what man sees or says.  But how often, we (I) forget that, how often I find myself believing other things, resting in other things or worse my self.  What happens then?  The refrain reminds us "On Christ the Solid Rock I stand"  because "All other ground is sinking sand" and to get the point across, that line is repeated, and if sung with the traditional tune slower and lower to really bring emphasis to the words "All other ground IS. SINKING. SAND."  (emphasis mine) 

Have you ever been caught up in quick sand, or seen someone caught up in it.  I have seen it in the movies and it doesn't look pretty.  In fact it looks like one of the ways I would least want to die, you see I have this intense dislike of feeling like I can't breathe, and when one sinks in quick sand, it doesn't appear you breathe very easily.  And lest you say, "But that is just the movies, it doesn't really happen like that"  You are probably right but the illustration is pretty powerful indeed.  And that is what really brings me around to the realization that I can not depend on what others say AT.ALL.  Because as the hymn writer puts it "ALL other ground IS sinking sand"  

Now someone (and you ladies know who you are) remind me of this next time I start getting moody because likely I have started to listen to and believe someone else, and usually that person is myself ;-)  

Our days have settled down into somewhat of a routine.  After getting up and eating breakfast. We work on chores around the house and pick up school work.  The kiddos are pretty much ahead of schedule so we don't really push it hard.  Pumpkin has state testing next week.  I don't particularly like that we have to do this but, it is better than the requirements in many other states.

Little Man has been eating a lot lately. Can we say growing spurt?  He seems to be doing really well.  He has pretty much set his own schedule that works really well with the family.  The only thing I wish is that he would last a little bit longer during the night.  But since I don't have to punch any one else's time clock, that doesn't matter as much either.

I have been working very closely with our budget and bills.  I am determined to stay on top of it and begin working in Dave Ramsey's principles for us. That being said and that determination made, I have been able to resist some temptations in the last week which would have been my downfall.  God is really showing Himself faithful to keep me on the straight and narrow.  I am striving to stay obedient to that.  I know life will be so much easier on us if I do this.

With that in mind I have also been working on our meals and grocery list.  I am working to develop a recipe binder.    It is a work in progress but it also makes me organize and use my cookbook and recipe collection.  Hopefully I can share it soon.

Buddy being silly

Buddy is in his room for disciplinary reasons.  I am sitting out here at the computer when I hear this mechanical whirring noise.  I look over and see his motorized lego truck stuck against the rocking chair with a paper sticking out of it.  I go to investigate.  The paper is a note which reads (spelling is his)  "Please send me a diffrint book to read.  Your old pal E.."

One Month Check Up

seven pounds one ounce
20 inches long

Eating 3 - 3 1/2 ounces every 3 to 4 hours.

Sleeping 4 -5 hours at night on a good night.

Overall doing quite well.

We have been home from the hospital for three weeks today, and I was able to cook a *real* meal tonight for supper.  I made a pot roast, in the crockpot, which was really, really good.  Best I have ever had, sorry mom. We also had mac & cheese, cheesy garlic biscuits, and salad.  I have to say I was rather pleased with myself.  All my cooking up to this point has been heating up frozen meals (thanks for the hot chicken salad mom :-) ) and things such as Hamburger Helper etc.  Other nights have been provided by the handsome hubby and/or the darling daughter.  Or we have gone out. 

For the last two days said darling daughter has been in a cleaning frenzy.  She has cleaned the kitchen, living room, her bathroom and bedroom.  I finally figured out her ulterior motive, she wanted to invite her best friend over for a sleepover.  Well, needless to say, she will get her sleepover.  She has also learned a bit of how hard it is to keep house.  She was remarking earlier that she had picked up the living room 3 times today.  

My little Bug will be 6, count them SIX, years old on Saturday.  I can not get over how much he has grown, and how mature (as mature as a 6 year old can be) he has become.  He has really taken this big brother role very seriously and wants to teach Little Man everything.  He also wants to help with everything, well except diaper changing.  However, explaining that Little Man won't be able to ride bikes for awhile hasn't been easy for Bug to grasp.  He has also been reading a kids joke book that they found in my old books.  Needless to say it has made his joke and riddle telling make a lot more sense and given him new material.  I was getting so tired of the same old jokes he already knew, especially the knock knock jokes.  

And not to leave out Buddy, He has been reading up a storm lately, and reading chapter books. Magic Tree House,  The Littles, Ramona, and even attempting some of the Chronicles of Narnia, that Dad has been reading aloud to them.  They are working on The Silver Chair currently.  I am really proud of him.  Out of the older three he has been the latest one to really get into reading.  I am glad to say he is now taking after the rest of the family.  We need a separate room just for books in this house.

What can I say, I love  my family.!!!!

Thoughts as the storm rolls in.............

Supper is on the stove. Little Man is in the pack-n-play, Buddy is sitting on the sofa reading, Bug is watching his sister, and Pumpkin is playing video games.  Dad is still at work and I am taking a minute to sit down and process my day.  The thunder is rolling in, the first storm of the season.  It is unreal to me that three weeks ago we still had snow on the ground,  which here in the south that is a remarkable occurrence.  And now we are dealing with the typical spring weather.  However, it was a blessing to have the windows and doors open today to air out the house.

It was a stay around the house kind of day today.  For which I am thankful.  I needed that kind of day.  Nothing calling my attention elsewhere.  Nowhere to be tonight.  Just rounding up the troops and enjoying the closeness of family tonight.

I am reminded however, how fleeting this time is,  I have friends and acquaintances mourning the loss of family members.  It makes me incredibly thankful for the family I have surrounding me at the moment.

Some Pictures to Share.

Little Man -- all swaddled - the way he sleeps best.



Helping Mama feed the baby.


Daddy in love.



Big brother and sister in love.


Big brother holding baby.


Bernie the guard dog.

Three weeks.

We have had an interesting couple of weeks.  Little Man is now 3 weeks old.  He is happy, healthy and eating like a horse.  I am so glad that he finally turned that corner.

We had a long couple of days on Friday and Saturday, both days we had to be out most of the day.  Friday's venture was completely unexpected, especially the duration of the outing.  Saturday's outing was expected but the duration was more than expected.  Those days coupled with the regular Sunday activities made for a very out of sorts baby.  Sunday afternoon was spent sleeping and eating and sleeping some more.  All of that and he still slept very well last night, only waking twice to eat and going back to sleep very quickly afterwards.

Today we have been somewhat back to normal for us as a family, except for the fact that Dad worked, he is back to working 6 days a week again, for hopefully only a short time.  This leaves only Sunday as his off day.  

I have been working on crocheting some party favor bags for a wedding shower I am helping to host.  The yarn I have chosen to use has been giving me fits.  I may have to choose something else to work with.

Purposeful Start.

Today, my Monday, (Dad's weekend is Sunday and Monday, so Tuesday often masquerades as Monday around here)  I have made a decision to have a purposeful start to my days.  Not a rigid schedule, which I will fail in quite quickly.  Not even a set routine without schedule.  But making choices for the day with a purpose in mind and working toward that purpose.

This morning my purpose was/is to move through the day with direction not wondering aimlessly as I did much of last week.  To that end, I have fed and changed the baby.  Have had a shower. Fed the other kids breakfast.  They are in the process of changing their clothes.  I have also started laundry and will make my bed and fold last night's last load in a few minutes once I start the kids on school work.  After School we will do lunch -- leftovers -- and pick up the LR, hallway and the kids will do their rooms.

***************************************************above was written earlier this morning *************************************


That was the basic plan for today and it worked out well.  I have also defeated about another third of Mt Wash-some-more.  My dryer is cooperating more today than it did yesterday.

Tomorrow's purpose will involve a trip to town I do believe.

Things I have said today

"That is not a jungle gym" - talking to Bug and Buddy about the exercise machine in the living room
"Pick up your jacket and hang it up" -- again talking to Bug and Buddy.
"Put the shoes on the shelf in the closet" -- at least 3 times to Buddy
"Get out of my chair" -- to who ever is playing or spinning or rocking wildly in my chair
"Pick that book, Bible, toy, trash, or what ever else, up instead of walking over it"  -- to any and everybody around here.
"Why have you decided to take so long to do your job?????" -- to my dryer which has decided to take at least twice as long to dry any load given to it today.....................  I have gotten THREE loads of laundry done,  I have at LEAST six more to do.  At this rate, I will have six more by the time I get these six done...........

d365 | Journey to the Cross

d365 | Journey to the Cross

Two weeks later

My little man is 2 weeks old today.  And it is amazing the amount that I have learned, this the fourth time around.  I know every baby and every situation is different.  These kids just prove that.  It still amazes me that we are now a family of six. God is using this small premature infant to teach his momma more and more about letting go and trusting Him, breaking through insecurities and making me live outside my comfort zone.  I am more amazed each day.

In other news the family is beginning to settle down into a routine that is somewhat similar from day to day. I won't call it normal, even for this family.  But similar, somewhat predictable, and what is best working for us.  And that is what matters, it works for us and we are getting done what needs to be done.  Since Sunday and Monday are Dad's weekend, he will be home tomorrow.  I have declared tomorrow to be a major straightening/cleaning day.  Through out the week the kids and I have tried to keep up with the necessary chores during the week, however, the bigger ones have been somewhat neglected.  So, at the moment, Monday's will be the day for the bigger chores and deeper cleaning.  I also want to get a laundry schedule started.  I have forgotten how much a baby adds to the laundry load.  So we will work on that as well.

I also have a new blogging venture to share.  Since Bug was born I have wanted to start a journal for each child.  To give to each of them when they are grown.  I have been very picky and haven't actually found a journal that suits what I want to use.  So this week I decided to take this a different way.  I have started a private blog for each child entitled "Love Letters to ___________"  I probably will eventually print them up and save them as a hard copy, but this will get me started.  I may even save the entries on a digital media as well.  But starting the process is what I needed to do, and so I did.  Once I get them established,  I may even invite others close to my children to add entries to them.  That is what is exciting about the prospect of using this media to do this now.

Memorial Wreaths

When my grandmother passed away six years ago, my dad's cousin made a memorial wreath for the family.  It was a large grape vine wreath, decorated with some of her favorite flowers and colors,  interspersed with the flowers and ribbons were objects that represented my grandmother.  She included, among other things,  thread and a crochet hook, a small new testament (because a big Bible wouldn't fit), a sewing pattern, some small gardening tools,  possibly a cardinal (her favorite bird) and a couple of other things that escape my memory right now.  The wreath now hangs at my parent's house and I don't have a picture of it here on this computer.

But I write this down, first of all as a memory of mine, but also to ask, what might be on your memorial wreath?

Baby Pool!

Having Fun ~~

Pumpkin says ~ Feb 17th, 6lbs. 11 ozs., 19 inches long

what say you???

Waiting............

I have never been a patient person.  I don't do waiting very well. AT.ALL.  Especially waiting without doing something.  I have found if I can do something, even if said something does not have to do with whatever it is that I wait on, I will do better about waiting.  However, waiting without being able to do much drives me nuts.  Which is where I find myself now.  I have two things, major life changing things, on which I am waiting right now.

The first of which for sure will happen.  The birth of his child I am carrying.  Peanut will be born sometime within the next month or so.  From past history with his siblings, I figure sooner rather than later.  Within the next two to three weeks.  While I can read, crochet, or watch TV, if it were just me here that would be wonderful.  However, Peanut's siblings seem to require a more active mom at times.  So we muddle through.  I am blessed in the fact that they are 11, 8, and 5 so it is not like I have toddlers running around.  And they do help out.  So we wait

The second thing may or may not happen soon. I think I have shared before that we, my husband and I, are working towards following our call into the ministry.  We have an option before us, which we are eager to take, that will help us move in a giant step in that direction.  If it was just up to us saying yes, the deed would have been done.  However, working in the avenue God has called us, we must work through and with other people to agree and help us settle details.  I know God will work how and when He wants for us to succeed,  however, not knowing His plans and waiting for a yes or no answer has me practicing my patience more than I'd like.  But I guess that is what He wants me to learn at this point, so I wait........

Books Read in January 

Snow Weekend

in bullets

*we have had 3 solid days at home
*everybody is going stir crazy
*we got about a half inch of sleet and half inch of snow
*much less than many people got
*tomorrow we will leave the house for the first time since Thursday
*hubby must work - normally he has Sun & Mon off, but is working b/c he didn't work Fri. & Sat b/c of the weather
*I have a dr's appoint, to which I will have to take the kids, fun :-)
*we are in the home stretch of this pregnancy!
*I hit 34 weeks Saturday - All three of the others were born between 37-38 weeks.
*I have the bassinet, newborn clothes, and diapers ready to go.
*I have been adding numbers to my cell phone to call or text when Peanut gets here.
*I have been crocheting hearts and bees.
*I have to finish the last bee and mail them for my nephew's baby shower
*the hearts will be for Valentines day.
*Once I perfect them I will start embroidering names on them.
*okay this is it, I am going to bed now.

Books! Books! Books!

Following a link from the Lovely Leann ~ I have found this!



Mandi @ Organizing Your Way has set up this challenge. Now of course I am a few days behind.  But that is how I roll around here.  And you know what it is okay.  There are a couple I want to go back and pick up, and I plan on doing that later today or tomorrow.  However, today's I can do right now.

1. Define your goal.

I have done various goals through out the years.  I have also joined several reading challenges only to not finish them.  I have only finished one,  So I am not going there this year.  This is going to have to be my way if I am going to do it all.  (as a note I have a My Way or No Way blog peculating to be posted soon.)

So my goal to read something for myself everyday,  Because I want to, not because it is required of me - I have reading to do in preparation for Sunday School and will have reading to do in preparation for Training, But this doesn't include any of that.  This is reading because I WANT to.

2. Join a book club.

This is already done!  I am reading with Leann and Dana and others with the Bibliomaniacs.  I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my first book for the group.

Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Barrow and Shaffer

3. Mix it up.

Easy to do, I have a TON of unread books around here, as well as some beloved series to reread with necessary.

I think I can do this without to much trouble.

4. Buy a Kindle.

Okay she was really kidding on this but the idea behind is, "figure out what obstacles are standing in the way of your goal and address them now. "  

I can't buy a Kindle or other reading device, because of finances, however, I don't particularly want one either.  I have a need to have the paper feel of a book in my hands as I read.  However, I am figuring out a new obstacle in my reading ~  get ready for a laugh for those who know me~  it is my crocheting.  Yes, a new passion I have found is keeping me from reading as much.  SO.................................I will crochet while I watch TV and when I have to turn the TV off because hubby is trying to sleep, I will read..........

5. Keep a running list of books.

Still pondering on this one,  I will attempt to keep up with them on the side bar of my blog.  Maybe on paper as well.

6. Remember that reading a little is better than not reading at all.