Acceptance

There are a lot of things floating through my head right now.  A lot of emotions churning around, which threaten to spill out.  I don't want to stuff them inside.  I know that is not healthy.  Yet I don't know how to express them, or fear expressing some of them.  Part of it has to do with acceptance and feeling accepted. It is hard to get past that desire for acceptance, even though I know that where I am and the choices I have made are right for me and my family.  When it goes against the conventional norm there is always difficulty with acceptance. Grrrr......

I didn't post last night.  I basically forgot about it.  And today I am having an emotional afternoon, so I won't post anything until I can be in a better emotional state.

Home

Where do you call home and why?



Home to me is a place where I have not lived in many years, in fact, I was so young when I lived there, that I do not have memories of actually living there. But that is not to say that I don't have memories.  Family ties and root run deep in those areas.  It is where I spent many, many summers at my grandparents.  It is where I spent many, many hours going through backwoods finding family farms, homes sites and grave yards.  It is where both of my parents were born and will be buried.  I love Arkansas, and can call the Hogs with the best of them.  But it isn't home to me.  It is simply where I live.

Context

Part of my journey of late is getting into the Word more and more, learning and understanding the meanings and nuances of the text.  I have two study Bible's that I am using.

NIV Archaeological Study Bible 

NKJV Study Bible 

They not only provide me with two different translations, but also commentary and articles on various points of the text itself. 

I am also working through the above study currently.   This is the first in a four part study.  This weeks portion centers on Leadership, particularly Joshua.  Today's reading was the beginning of the book - Joshua 1-3

I have heard and read the story many times.  I have taught the story for the last two years in my second grade class.  However, today I read the commentary behind the story.  Archeological evidence today and from ancient times point out that some distance from the ancient site of Jericho there is a spot where earthquakes in the region will dam up the Jordan river for hours at a time.  This is a natural occurance It has been recorded several times in the last 1000 years.  These earthquakes can even be strong enough to crumble huge defensive walls as were surrounding the city of Jericho.  "Wow," I thought "how cool is that?"  Then I got to thinking, "wait a minute, there will be people who, using that information will state that they have just explained away a miracle. The Israelite army used natural phenomena to cross the river and ultimately defeat the inhabitants of Jericho."

However, after continued thought and prayer, I realized something I should have realized very quickly.  When was the last time that anyone, anywhere correctly predicted an earthquake?  Living on and close to the New Madrid fault all my life, I have heard many stories of earthquakes and even had a few predictions of them.  (I even got out of school for three days in the 10th grade because some nutjob predicted a quake on that fault early in December that year).

So I have come to the conclusion that yes, God may have used natural phenomena to obtain His super-natural results, if so the real miracle lies in the fact that Joshua and the Isrealites were posed to take advantage of such unpredictable events.  Just as, but not until, the priests stepped into the water, the river was dammed and dried up ready to be crossed.  This was necessary because it ws spring time,  when the river is swollen by spring rains and melting snow from high in the  mountains at its source. 

Seeing coverage of recent earthquakes also leads me to believe that another miracle also took place, keeping the thousands, probably over 2 million, Israelites safe while awaiting passage.  There had to be terror striking through their hearts already and then the ground shaking.

More tomorrow.

That demon Ought

My dear friend Dana wrote the other day on the demon Ought.  You know who he is, always saying "you ought to do this" or "that is something you ought to do"  Usually this word is brandied about by a well meaning friend or loved one.  But sometimes, as in my case tonight, it is coming from inside myself.  I ought to sit down and write a profound, deep, insightful, blog tonight because well..... I said I would blog every day in July.  Well my friends, all two of you that read, you aren't getting that tonight.  Because I am not listening to my words or that demon.  What you are going to get is just this, and now I am at the end. So good night. 

Creation

      So God created man in his own image,

       in the image of God he created him;

       male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

That is right we were created in God's image. I believe that means we share many of His characteristics. Just as my children favor me and/or my husband.  And they take after us in many more ways than I'd ever imagined was possible.  We 'take after' God.  You do not have to go far into the Bible for characteristics of God.  The very first verse of the Bible gives us one.  "God created".  He took an interest,  got down and dirty and created.  He created order out of chaos.  He created the Heavens and the Earth, Light, the sky, the land, the seas, the sun, the moon, the stars, the vegetation, the animals. In Chapter 2, He tells us that God formed him from the dust of the ground, and breathed the breath of life into him.  As I look out at my boys playing in the yard, the only way that they can form anything out of the dirt is with their hands.  So I must believe God got his hands dirty to create man.  

Now my boys can not give life to anything they create out the dirt, no matter how hard they believe.  However, God can and did.  With that life came our spirits, the same spirits that drive us.  The characteristics we show that 'take after' our Creator. 

I believe that one of those characteristics in everyone is the desire to create.  I believe everyone has an inborn desire to create, to create SOMETHING.  Not everybody is given the same gift or the desire to create the same thing.  I have friends that create beautiful music, with intruments and/or their voices.  Others create beautiful jewelry and other handiworks. Still others create with words or pictures.  I create in several ways, but one of my very favorite ways is with my scrapbooking.  

 

Just one page of a recently finished Scrapbook

Happiness

I tried for many years to keep everyone around me happy.  I decided that if everyone around me was happy then every thing would be okay.  But what I found out was I could not keep everyone happy all the time.  And what more, I was making myself a nervous wreck.  Many, many hard lessons later, I decided that happiness was dependent on the individual, not primarily on anything I did or did not do.  In fact, my efforts often wound up making it worse instead of better.  Finally, finally, after many, many hardships, discussions, and some pretty nasty depressive episodes, I learned a hard truth.  I wasn't capable of making anyone else completely happy.  And it wasn't my job to do so either.

Now I do my best to love them, help out when I can and feel led, and pray for them when I can't.  It wasn't easy, nor is it always easy now.  It was and still is one of the hardest things my fixit nature can do.  But, I have have found it to be rewarding.

Routines

I haven't talked about National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo).  The link is on my side bar.  It is what I am using as encouragement to blog everyday.  NaBloPoMo has a theme every month.  July's theme is "Routines"

In July, I am working on developing routines for both me and the kids so that our household and schooling will function more effectively.  I need those routines for me to work effectively and I am working to show my children how routines can help them work just as effectively.

What routines work for you?

Freedom

I have contemplated quite a bit about today's post.  Being the Fourth of July, I wanted to do a post on the holiday or something.  I was at one time in my life a history major and still love history, especially American History.  However, I decided to go a different route. 

Freedom.

Not in the historical sense for this holiday, but personal freedom.  I have spent much of my life mired in what others expected of me, or worse, what I THOUGHT others expected of me.  An off hand comment, a look, even an action different from mine and I would take it as disapproval.  I would then examine my actions, decide what the other person wanted me to do and change my actions.  The more highly I held that person's opinion on the matter at hand, the faster I changed.  No matter how it made me feel, or stressed me out.

For example I remember the day after Pumpkin was born,  I was  a new mother,  doing what I thought was right.  My parents came up and stayed the night, bringing us home the next day.  I was so glad my mother came up.  She was wonderful. However, she made a comment before they left the next day.  Something to the effect of "Maybe you can get her on a schedule before we come back"  I am sure those weren't the words she said, but that is what I heard.  I heard I was doing things wrong, and what I could do to fix them.  That was on Tuesday, and they were due back on Friday.  I had THREE days to get a newborn infant on a schedule.  So that is what I attempted to do.  I was going to please my mother and be a good mother my self.  Those of you that are mother's know exactly how absurd this was under "normal" circumstances.  Not to mention Pumpkin, couldn't/wouldn't nurse.  By Friday my baby, was jaundiced and had lost over 10% of her birth weight. and unbeknownst to me at the time starving.  I felt like a failure. 

We went to the doctor.  Had a wonderful visit with her pediatrician. She explained what was going on and we got her started on supplementary feedings and she gained 6 oz in a day's time.  By the time she was a week old she had lost her jaundice and was eating normally.  My parents came up during this time and helped a great deal with her feedings and light bed therapy, and gave me a chance to rest.  However, I let them know everything I was doing was doctor guided, and neither one said a word again about feedings, schedule or anything else.  That was one itty bitty step I took, toward personal freedom.

Over the years I have taken more and more, doing things the way I see fit, guided by my Heavenly Father.  These steps have taken me away from what I and others imagined for my life.  I am working to not let what others think I should do influence my decisions on what I actually do.  I am also working to not let approval or disapproval affect my self esteem. 

Sarah Palin

I read on my FaceBook news feed that Sarah Palin gave her resignation, effective the end of the month.  I read quite a few comments on hers, Mike Huckabee's, and FoxNews FB pages that carried postings about the resignation. I listened to the six or so minute clip that FOXNews played of Sarah Palin's speech today, as well as several political commentators, both liberal and conservative.  I admit I don't have all the information on her choices or any knowledge about future steps.  I am only going on what I have read and heard from the sources I have mentioned. 

However, like many other people in the nation, I have formed an opinion on the issue.  From what I understand about her reasoning she chose to resign in order to pursue other interests than just serving the people of Alaska.  She chose to do this on her own time and her own dime rather than that of the people of Alaska.  For conservatism, I applaud her on that fact.  Since she was not going to seek reelection, that would have made her a lame duck governor, as she described just biding her time and receiving a paycheck (my paraphrase of her words).  She chose not to do that, not to waste the money of the people of Alaska in that way.  Instead she is giving her Lt. Gov some valuable time to prove himself, before his own reelection bid.  ( I am assuming here that the Lt. Gov. of Alaska is also a Republican but am not certain of that fact. But that is besides the point).  In my opinion, that makes good common sense and fiscal sense as well.  I also believe that it shows her integrity

On those issues I applaud her,  She is willing to step aside, removing herself from the title that would automatically get her accepted in many circles.  She is willing to stand on her own merits.  That says something.  About 12 years ago this time, another sitting governor started his reelection campaign for the office, stating that he would not, if elected, seek the Presidential nomination 2 years into his next 4 year term.  He lied, and many people in this fair state knew he was lying when he said it. I didn't believe him then, nor just about any other time he opened his mouth will serving his two terms as President.   He did not resign the office of governor until just prior to his presidential terms.


She also stated that she, and again I am paraphrasing, that her family was tired of the attacks on her family by the media. And for that I agree with her, I am tired of the attacks on her family.  No other politician, to my recollection,  has had the probing attacks on his or her personal family, as had Sarah Palin.  One Democratic strategist on FoxNews tried to liken Sarah to Hilary on this front.  But seriously, they don't even come close.


I did not hear it straight out, but I did read that news commentators were criticizing her speech as "all over the place" of "disjointed".  Granted I did not hear her speech in its entirety.  But I did hear some of it.  I can see where people could level that accusation.  However, my response, to them is simply this.  She was speaking without a teleprompter and probably without a professional speech writer.  She was speaking as Sarah to her constituents.  No it wasn't the best prepared speech in the world, but it was real Sarah.  Because it wasn't teleprompted, it couldn't be read and analyzed ahead of time.  Because it wasn't professionally written, it also couldn't be leaked.  I think that is how she wanted it.


As far as those claiming it was political suicide, I can see why they say it would be, because it doesn't fit their mold for what a politician should do.  Guess what, Sarah Palin has been breaking molds for as long as I have been aware of her.  And doing it rather well, I might add.  She doesn't have to conform to molds to know who she is.


It is this last point that resonates with me in my own journey.  I am starting to break some molds set before me and others that I only imagined were there.  Trying to discover exactly who I am, and rarely does that conform to the mold that others have for me,  or even those I have for myself.  In doing so, I am also learning not to make molds for other people and letting them be themselves.

Mission

This Blog is entitled Working It Out. The wording comes from Philippians 2 particularly verses 12 and 13 in the NIV

¹²Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.


However, I belive The Message version is a bit easier to understand.


^12-13What I'm getting at, friends, is that you should simply keep on doing what you've done from the beginning. When I was living among you, you lived in responsive obedience. Now that I'm separated from you, keep it up. Better yet, redouble your efforts. Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God's energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure.

That is my goal, to be energetic in my life, revernt and sensitive to God's leadings. The URL is storywrittenbyGod(.blogspot.com). That is what I want my life to be, A Story Written by God Himself. Not me, not others, not even what I think others are thinking, but by God. That is my mission for this blog, to write down the story of where and how God leads.

Now it is not my intention at all to make this a 'religious' blog, posting only Bible Verses and sermons or devotions. No, because if I am honest with myself and others that is not my life, nor do I really want it to be. It is my intention to post tidbits of my days and weeks, providing insight on how I am finding out who I am and possibly, maybe just maybe, encourage some else along in their journey.

Introduction

We here at Working It Out are a family of five people and one lovable, but lazy at times, dog.  All of whom you will hear from at times, except for maybe the dog, so I thought I would introduce you to the crew.

Heading up the household is dear old Dad.  He works many hours to support our family. Dad loves to read, as attested to by the many books that are his.  He shares that love with all of us, often reading aloud on long trips and at bedtimes.  He is also the goto person when it comes to science quetions around here. Often the questions start out with "I don't want a Dad answer, but ......"  He is learning to tailor his answers to the size, understanding, and attention span of the asker.

Firstborn is Pumpkin.  She is a bright and highly intelligent 10 year old.  She goes by several nicknames around here, but I call her Pumpkin, that is my nickname for her.  Being the firstborn child, grandchild, great-grandchild, and niece on my side of the family she aquired several unique nicknames.  At the age of 3, she informed me I could no longer call her by her given name because that was "Granddaddy's name for her".  She loves anything horse related.  In fact, right now she is watching Black Beauty.

Second is Buddy.  When the doctor, at the ultra sound told me "Looks like we are having a boy".  I responded with, "We are having a WHAT?"  I never dreamed I'd have boys.  But now I could not imagine life without my Buddy.  He has been happy go lucky, laid back almost since the day he was born.  Oh he does have his total boy moments.  But he is still my Buddy.  He, like most seven year olds, loves anything related to Star Wars.

Third in line is Bug.  He is the inspiration of my full screename (to be discussed later).  I have called this delightful, fun loving, five year old, Bug almost since he was born.  He is the spitting image of his Grandfather at the same age and is very much like his older siblings, highly intelligent and absorbs knowledge at an incredible rate.  In fact he is my child to read at the earliest age.  He love Star Wars almost as much as his older brother, but adores anything superhero related - and is currently in a Spiderman costume as I type this. 

The dog is a miniture dashound, who is rather large (fat) and goes by the name of Pepper.  Thee year old Pumpkin wanted to name her Cinnamon, when she recieved her as a birthday gift.  But was persuaded that name didn't fit a black and tan dog.  She settled on Pepper instead.

Lastly you have your author for the day. Mom of  3 Little Bugs, or Mom for short.  I am a professional educator, having taught in the classroom for 12 years.  I have taught all ages from three-years-old to most recently second grade. I will be taking on the role as homeschooling mother once again.  I am and always have been a reader.  In fact, most of the books around here are really mine.  I love all things related to social studies, especially history. 

This year we are adventuring into to homeschooling once again.  We homeschooled three years ago for one year, but circumstances prevented us from continuing the next year. But we have been given the opportunity to do so once again. 

There you have it. Our introduction.  I will explain more on the purpose of this blog tomorrow.