quotes

If I could go back and do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing because the path I took (though a little bumpy) led me to the life I have today!

The above quote is something I read on a FB status today.  It has given me a lot to think about.  

First of all, I wanted to share it myself and point out a few people that I wanted to read it.  Recent events have given me the opportunity to reevaluate choices I made in my life.  And some of those choices caused me some very very bumpy places in my life.  Put me in some uncomfortable places. But, in those choices, were some very important lessons learned, even 18 years after the fact.  

However, as I sat down to write this, I decided that if I had sought and followed God's plan, I wouldn't have made the  mistakes   And though that I would not have had some of the heartaches that I experienced along the way.  And of course that thought gave me pause to think.  Why was I trying to glorify mistakes that I have made?  Why was I making a point to point out those mistakes?

However, I don't think that it was the mistakes I should concentrated on, but the lessons learned along the way.  God can and will used mistakes for our good and His glory.   

25 minutes

That is how long I have to get this entry posted while today is still called today and not yesterday.  In reality this is the third time that I have tried to start this entry.  And it hasn't gotten any easier to get past the first few lines. But I promised I would and so I shall. 

Why did I promise that I would write?  What do I have to say?  Who do I think is going to read this?  I don't know the answers to any of those questions.  I just know that I am drawn to write, but yet I don't because I don't have the answers to those questions.  Those answers represent the great unknown to me.  And the unknown is something that I fear.  That fear keeps me enslaved.  Keeps me bound to the comfortable world of what I know.  The world of what I was brought up on, being safe, secure, take no risks that could land you in places that aren't 'safe'.  And I am finding I don't like that.  Not that I don't like being comfortable, or safe.  Those are things I enjoy very much.  But I don't like the feeling of being bound, the enslavement that goes along with it, the suffocation and the feeling that I am not really living.  So I am going to face that fear,  make a stand, step out and do something about it.

That is why I am writing.  If no one reads it, if no one responds to it, well maybe, I chose the wrong venue or maybe that writing was just for me.  I don't know.  But I know one thing I have discovered in the few minutes since I started this writing.  That writing fuels my thinking. And with that fuel I was able to realize yet one more thing about myself.  And that 15 minutes was 15 minutes well spent.